Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
