you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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