he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Did you pee in the oven last night??
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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