No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
