She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Randomize
