you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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