part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
