I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
