Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
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