Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
