Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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