I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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