Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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