he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I need to stop coming to work sober
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
