From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
