it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Randomize
