dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
