i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
