that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
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