drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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