My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
