hell yes lets make some ravioli
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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