Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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