Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
