So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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