god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
