he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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