also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
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