I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
