Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
