Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
