I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
