So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
