Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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