Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
