It's never too late to be topless.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
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