I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
So many bounce houses so little time
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
