What a fucking waste of an outfit
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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