is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
