Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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