i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
