i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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