ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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