I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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