So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Just invented taco cereal.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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