How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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