apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the room spins SO much faster in panama
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize