I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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