Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
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