I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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