Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Your penis caused this!
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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