And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
