so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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