it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
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