is your mom at the bar?
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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