It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
