i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize
