i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
