i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Less talking, more tequila
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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