....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
