so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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