Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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