Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
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