I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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